


For Now

by orphan_account



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, i just want fnc to be happy is that too much to ask, i want to get off mr. fnatic's wild ride pls, not necessarily romance tbh but something that might play out irl who knows, spirit's been down lately and febi should honestly get on with the whole makespiritfeelgoodagain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 20:19:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7698085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the end of the day, everyone leaves, or so Dayoon thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Now

**Author's Note:**

> in recent news of deilor's departure and spirit's increasingly depressing tweets, i decided to counter that with... even more depressing content! 
> 
> genius, i know. 
> 
> anyways, this is basically in relation to everything that's gone down the drain for fnatic. 
> 
> sigh, i just wanted spirit to be happy was that too much to ask for?

Luis pats him on the shoulder, a bittersweet smile on his face as he pulls him in for a hug.

"I believe in you, boys," he whispers, ruffling his hair as he draws back. "With or without me, you'll do great."

Inspirational till the end, if not for the fact that this may be the last time Dayoon will ever see the Spanish coach, he'd smile back. 

Except this is the last time, and Dayoon finds himself too focused on swallowing the lump in his throat.

Luis gives him a final pat on the shoulder before turning to the next man, Martin, who's as stoic as ever. There's an exchange of hugs, of words, of everything and nothing because Dayoon  _can't_ register what's going on.

Everything feels too familiar.

He's pretty sure he's seen this scenario before, except there's way less involvement of the Korean language. He can almost feel Yeongjin in the room, standing near the door that Luis will soon exit.

Everything feels too fresh, he bites on the inside of his cheeks to prevent any tears stinging his eyes.

No one's crying, as if they've already predicted this outcome, but Dayoon's certain that the tenseness in everyone's shoulder says otherwise.

Luis leaves them, he's  _leaving_ them, heading over to Finlay and their new coach whose name Dayoon can't be bothered to remember. He knows he's being petty, that he'll come around sooner than later, but everything's too fresh on his mind. 

First Yeongjin, now Luis. 

At the end of the day, everyone leaves.

Bora breaks the silence along with Mateusz, heading over to their computers. Yet despite their indifference, Dayoon picks up on their heavy steps. Martin follows suit, and either he's perfected his poker face, or he genuinely doesn't care. Dayoon wants to believe it's the former.

Fabian though, Dayoon can see himself in the shocked expression etched across his face. He feels a sharp jab in his chest, not familiar with that kind of look on Fabian's usual smiling face. 

But then again, when's the last time Dayoon smiled freely?

He hasn't felt his lips quirk upwards that often ever since Yeongjin left; Luis' departure feels like another weight added to that.

Fabian must feel the same way, but Dayoon's too mentally exhausted to reach out a comforting hand. The two of them have always been on the more emotional side, and Dayoon's starting to feel that side coming in full force.

He turns away from the Dutch, settling down in his own seat. The League client is still on his screen, queue time counting up despite the lengthy farewell.

Dayoon needs the queue to pop,  _now_. He needs a distraction since he can't leave the house for a walk, and League is the one thing he can turn to that won't require him talking to anyone.

For once, Riot actually listens to his wishes. He even manages to snag Nidalee after the banning phase.

But as the game starts, Dayoon realizes that his body doesn't react fast enough with his thoughts. His mind starts to drift away, shifting from the game to other subjects, to things he's been trying to suppress.

He fails his first gank, gives up first blood, and shit hits the fan. 

Who else will leave soon?

What more will he have to go through before enough is enough?

Dayoon has thought about it before, but never in-depth. It started trailing him more frequently, filling up the space that Yeongjin left, and now with Luis' gone, Dayoon feels like he's being suffocated by it.

He has to leave, too.

The screen changes to gray, a stark contrast to the colorful swears littering his team chat.

Dayoon blinks. In any other situation, he'd be smiling at the pettiness, but the thought of smiling feels foreign to him.

He feels numb- no, he feels  _nothing_.

How does one smile when everything's gone from you?

While the enemy team's taking the Baron, his own teammates are scrambling to salvage what's left of the base as Dayoon waits for the death timer to count down. They can still win, but even victory doesn't sound desirable in his current state. He's been losing out on so much already, what's one more loss going to change?

He's about to exit the game, not as if reporting someone ever worked, when another message pops up in the chat. 

It's different, not angry, not vitriolic, and  _privately_ sent.

Dayoon recognizes the account in an instant, it's from Fabian.

He stops, mouse hovering over the exit button. The message is simple, yet Dayoon suddenly feels  _too much_ all at once.

** please don't leave me **

No "are you okay's" or "it's gonna be fine's", not even a request, but a plea instead.

Dayoon doesn't dare to turn around, to look at Fabian. He's not sure he'd be able to control himself if he were to lock eyes with him. Instead, he tries to take a deep breath. The breath comes out shaky, his mind a bit clearheaded than before as he starts repeating two words to himself.

_ For now. _

He exits the leave screen. The death timer has finished.

Their inhibitor has respawned, and his team has somehow managed to pick off both the enemy toplaner and support. His ad carry is screaming at everyone to group up in mid. They can still win this.

_For now._  

Dayoon clicks towards the team, Nidalee following the path as they run towards the open inhibitor. He takes a second deep breath, fingers hovering over the keyboard as he opens the private chat.

The message is still there, waiting for a reply. Dayoon types, one word at a time, but stops as they take down the inhibitor. The enemy team is trying to stop their push, but the minion waves are in their favor, and Dayoon suddenly finds himself killing the enemy jungler. The nexus turrets fall, one by one, until what's left is the nexus itself separating them from victory.

He manages to send the message before the giant yellow letters flash across his screen along with the blue banner.

** i won't **

_ For now. _


End file.
